It's just a flesh wound!

I'm not normally one to kick someone when they are down but in Keith 'Cuntus' McCollins' case I take great pleasure in making a rare exception. The reason being is that this fuckstick numbnut makes himself such an easy target my in-built urge to brutalise shits like him is too hard to resist. It wasn't until after I reflected on why this deluded soul chooses to continue on his merry way utterly oblivious to the tattered remnants of whatever credibility he still clings to that I remembered the above gem from Monty Python's Holy Grail. I sincerely hope that the symbology in the above clip is not lost with the Ned Kellyesque metal bucket helmet and the black kinght's plaintive cry of 'yellow bastards'. It seems obvious now that Collins' is a proponent of the warped notion that if one does not give up then one cannot lose. Which makes his latest salvo in his decidedly one sided conflict with me all the funnier:

"Things have been a little to quiet today so I have posted some more pic’s of the Custom built sonic that this thread is all about. 

And by that I mean on both ends of the small housing that screws into the grip, have used M14x1.5 T.P.I now Bull Dog,….. be a good Apprentice and tell the good members what type of thread that is,…………. that’s right its a………. metric thread, any descent Engineer will tell you that. You don’t use fine threads in Aluminium, as they will strip out under load and not only that they will cross thread all so easily, so you would never use such a thread on a Aluminium sonic screwdriver of any season.

Now clean the wax out of your hairy ears this is very important Bull Dog, we are going to talk about threads.

In Unified threads that’s UNF that’s what is used in the aircraft industry (measured in inches), there are numbered diameters #0 through #10, with 0 the smallest and 10 the largest. 

(Diameters #12 and #14 may also be found, but are usually on older equipment and needed for repairs or restorations. #14 is close to, but not exactly the same as, 1/4-inch.) 

The major diameter in Unified threads = 0.060" + 0.013"*(numbered diameter). So #2 has a major diameter of 0.086". The odd numbers exist, but the even numbers are in far more common use. 

For screws larger than a #10, the diameters are listed in fractional inches. For instance, a 1/4-20 screw has a 1/4-inch major diameter. 

For metric threads, e.g. M3.5, the number following the M is the major diameter of the external thread in millimeters.

For Unified threads, the number given is threads per inch. For instance, a 1/4-20 screw has 20 threads per inch. 

For metric threads, the thread pitch is given in millimeters per thread. Thus, an M14 x 1.5 screw has threads every 1.5mm. Although most metric fasteners have two or more standard pitches (fine & coarse threads), 

There are two major metric "industrial standards": DIN Deutsches Institut für Normung (German) and the JIS Japanese Industrial Standards. Although these standards are closely related and often identical, there will be cases where say a JIS M8 bolt may not have the same pitch as a DIN M8 bolt. Now are you getting this down Bull Dog, if not just cut and past it and read it later ok."

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I am highly amused by his tone of faux condescenscion, daring to lecture me on my craft. Aside from the fact he has spelt 'decent' utterly wrong and he's made a pig's ear of the bulb end, there was something about the post that immediately struck me as being off kilter. It wasn't even the totally tangental way he decided to lecture the forum on the totally irrelevant subject of screw threads. (I mean, who the fuck cares? Just make the fucking thing!). Something was very amiss.....

Yes!

That's it. His spelling and grammar suddenly improved. I wonder why?

I'll tell you why. A quick Google phrase search will produce this:

http://www.wikihow.com/Read-a-Screw-Thread-Callout

This idiot, this fool, this utter moron, has only just gone and cut and pasted whole swathes off the Internet in a child-like attempt to appear more than the dim witted knuckle dragging simpleton he is. Not only did he not even bother to change the wording, he didn't even change the order either. The first rule of plagiarism: don't make it easy to get caught so change what you've plagiarised! It seems that even this didn't even occur to this bone head. If I wasn't so amused by this juvenile attempt at oneupsmanship, I would actually be disgusted by his stupidity. I've said it before, it's not hard to feel sorry for this cretin when you see his pathetic attempts to get one over on me just descend into farcical self harm. 

One other thing: Note his solid aluminium bulb end. I am amused to see that he has changed the angle of the rear tip after I called his out on it. It is not just obvious that he's just changed that and tacked it on to the approximate dimensions of my bulb end, it's also incredibly funny. You know what? I'm going to let him carry on as this is a hilarious lesson in ineptitude. I hope his supporters enjoy what promises to be a dog's dinner of shoddy inaccuracy. More fool them. You get what you pay for, I suppose. If you can't afford the best, bargain basement will have to do. In that respect Keith Collins is doing something worthwhile during this global recession and providing a cheapo option for the plebs.

I'm going to leave you with this. I am highly tickled this made number 1 in Australia: