It's that time of year again. Silly season has begun in earnest, business has slumped, anyone who is anyone has fucked off to the nearest beach to get blind drunk on drinks with paper umbrellas in them, QMx dusts off the bullshit maker for ComicCon and the feeling of deja vu is so pervasive, I might choose last week's lottery numbers in the hope they come up again this week.
I may jest, but I swear that QMx actually does have a massive bullshit machine in their office, like a grotesque ice cream maker that churns out whipped cones of steaming cow turds for the gullible retards that actually believe what they are being fed is chocolate flavoured dairy dessert when in actual fact it's another type of bovine derived product entirely.
Let's remind ourselves of what was announced last year, shall we?:
'Their' Tennant sonic never made it to market and has been quietly swept under the carpet. Instead, what we get this year is something even more interesting:
They look good don't they? But then again, they should. They are perfect for a very good reason. What we apparently have here are claimed 'prototypes' of QMx's sonic replicas, made by the production propmaker Nick Robatto. That's all well and good. But reading between the lines, what is omitted is often more telling than what is actually said (which in this instance is, to be honest, "not a lot"). The weakminded sycophantic portion of fans will jump all over this, panhandled like a pubescent virgin doped up to the gills on Viagra, and think "Yay!, we're going to be getting replicas made by the actual propmaker himself".
Bullshit!
That's the fantasy, here's the reality:
What you are seeing are not QMx's prototypes of these sonics, but QMx's reference material that they intend to use to make their replicas.
Yes, QMx have neither designed or blueprinted for these pieces. They don't even have anyone lined up to make them. These are in no way representative of the final product. In order to stall and keep the licence for another year, QMx commissioned Robatto to make exact replicas of the props since they couldn't get hold of the actual filming props, this is a solution that allowed them to obtain, measure and keep master reference pieces. By doing this, they show the BBC that they are actually doing something with the licence instead of sitting around with their dicks in their hands and it allows them to keep a certain sizeable chunk of the fanbase fluffed for a while longer.
But, you know what? They have the same reference material that I've got. The only difference (and it's not much of a difference) is that my reference is from screen used pieces but nonetheless, they are also Robatto made. I'm not going to go into the details of this but some of my readers already know I'm not bullshitting.
Put into context, what does this QMx 'announcment' actually mean? Very little. It just means they have bought screen accurate reference pieces. I could release pics of the screen used pieces I referenced and said "hey guys, look at my prototypes!" but that would be misleading, unethical and patently untrue. When I release pics of my prototypes, they will be designed and made by me. Unless every single one of QMx's replicas are made by Nick Robatto, they really should shut the fuck up, be honest and let their product do the talking. Underpromise and over deliver is a mantra I live by and if the fatties that run QMx would get their maws out of their cheeseburgers long enough to listen, they would also heed this mantra too.
Personally, I guarantee that the QMx replicas will never happen. I know the 11th doctor sonic back to front now, every nuance, quirk and idiosyncrasy. It is a massively difficult piece to engineer and build and I've been working on it for nearly a year. QMx cannot do this and the other pieces anytime soon especially if they are starting from effectively now. With the prices in China and around the world shooting skyhigh, the chances of this being made affordably by QMx is virtually zilch. You'd getter better odds on finding Dee Dee Ramone alive and well on the moon blowing Michael Jackson.
The way they have just wheeled these out, claiming between the lines, that these are what will be made is irresponsible and dare I say it, fraudulent in the extreme. At least MFX had the balls to show a prototype that they engineered themselves. It's not a complete disaster though. If the replicas don't happen, they could always release nice posters of the 'prototypes', right?
Edit: This just in from Kursosawa:
"Howdy yall. first and foremost, the sonics Rubbertoe has on display at SDCC are amazing. He actually let me handle the 11th Doctor's screwdriver and the Master's Laser Screwdriver. *squeeee*. One interesting thing i noticed: The green sections on the 11th screwdriver are made of green resin with white marbling.
As far as any info on release dates and price, no one was able to give anything substantial at the QMX booth. Though they did have a farnsworths for sale at the booth with light and sound for 400 and teslas as well for 1000+ I forget the actual number. Ill post more tonight on my blog with pictures and such with more coverage."
I've underlined the bit that proves what I've said above. Now that came as a bit of a surprise, didn't it? (Sarcasm intended). That's because no one at QMx has a fucking clue what they are doing. I am now going to sit back in my chair, adopt a smug self satisfied expression secure in the fact that QMx really are the amateurs I suspected them to be. I wonder how long it will be before the go the way of MFX Replicas? I give it a year, tops, before someone calls time. Mark my words....
Another Edit: An 'official' response from the salad dodger who is now the appointed mouthpiece for QMx that pretty much confirms my thoughts written above. Jeez, I hate being right sometimes: (My rejoinder in red)
"Hey, just wanted to drop in and comment on one thing here.
The 10th Doctor and 11th Doctor Sonics are both at SDCC as well as the River Song and Master's laser. The sonics on display are the prototypes for the QMx Artisan line. Nick made the prototypes for us, so the next step will be getting the crew and materials to start working off Nick's prototype.
It's not a prototype. Don't call it a 'prototype'. It's your master reference piece, pure and simple. Ok, maybe it absolute terms a prototype is just tha,t but pretending it's anything but a reference piece made by someone who WILL NOT be making your final product is utter bullshit and pure lies especially if you are touting these as being representative of your final product. It's not. It would be nice to say 'these are what we aspire it' but you're not doing that are you? You are building an expectation that can never be fulfilled. This is the problem MFx had. Nick Robatto made your reference pieces just so you would have something to show at Comic Con. That's all you have. You have no blueprints, no 3D models or even anyone to make them. You have done nothing. You haven't even started yet for fuck's sake!
As for the previous Ten sonic -- well, we now have a prototype built by the man who made the prop. We're gonna work off that one instead, y'know?
Er...right. Very eloquently put. You figured out what was wrong with the previous one, did you? Lol.
I'm not saying they'll be made next month, but the QMx "vaporware" concern is part of a past that doesn't really include any of the current folks at QMx. The Farnsworths and Tesla's are both here and on sale. As are a number of newly designed statues and maquettes. The Enterprise Refit and the 2009 Enterprise are both here as well. And we'll have ordering details for those very soon.
How about being honest and saying that you have no clue if and when they will ever be done? Farnsworths and Tesla's are great albeit much much simpler that a sonic. Even the more complex piece, the Tesla gun is no where near as complex as a hand made 11th sonic with nearly 50 components and look at the price of that. You have no machinists, production facilities or design capability: just a bunch of people you hire on a per job basis to be paid peanuts. I guarantee that no one will go near the sonics for less than £1000 per unit, COST. Trust me, I already did my research
So, I know the past hasn't boded well. But we're definitely looking forward and the sonics are further along than they've ever been ;-)
Sure, at least now you have some decent reference material, the exact same stuff I have had for months now. Well done. But you're still a long way from where you need to be. I would equate it to aspiring to flying to the moon when you've barely learned to walk upright. Still, you're definitely further along than you've ever been. Last year you were still swimming in the primeval soup."
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