I really don't know how to begin this second half of my rant. All I can say is that I am mildly irritated by certain things said in some quarters that are frankly, misinformed and inaccurate. Notwithstanding the things being said, the way in which they have been said displays a weakness of character in the person saying these things that compells me to respond with the characteristic directness that I pride myself in.
So what in the Dickens am I on about? Two days ago, the man tasked with making QMx's vaporware sonics, revealed himself to the world, a move undoubtedly forced upon Andy Gore by the tidal wave of negativity that followed yet another grand unveiling at SDCC of yet more 'prototypes' and nothing else. In certain circles, it's called prickteasing, in others it's just called bullshit.
The brave soul that inherited this poisoned chalice is a man called Kenney Palkow. Instead of me introducing him, let me just cut and paste his own introduction:
"Greetings.....
OK, I think its about time to clear the air and "keep it real". For those of you that already know who I am... bear with me while I introduce myself. I am an industry special effects, weapons, and prop maker. I primarily work on hero props. Some of my recent stuff includes.... Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome, Warehouse 13, Fringe, Mission Impossible 4, The A-Team, Underworld: New Dawn, Stephen Spielberg's Locke and Key, etc. Ok... so.... that should give you an idea of who I am in the industry and hopefully earn credibility that what I'm going to say is just "keeping it real" and not embellishing or blatant BS.
There has been so much talk about the Sonics and who did this, who did that or "no"... it was done this way, or "no"... you're wrong... it was done that way. lol Everything I'm going to say about the QMx sonics is what it is... nothing more and nothing less.
1. First, I was commissioned by QMx to build the sonics for them.
2. I persuaded QMx to bring me to the Dr. Who set in the UK to examine props that they would like to release. I told them that they could not get the dimensions I needed through pictures alone. I told them I would bring my equipment with.... laser scanner, all kinds of engineering tools, etc and I could create perfect CAD models off the actual "Screen used Props". They agreed and I went with.
3. I spent countless hours reverse engineering the 10th and 11th sonics on set and in my hotel room. I never really got to see much of the UK. Instead, I was working til 3:30am or even all night long to get everything I could. I kept all details... imperfect as well... in my CAD. If I built a sonic right now.... no one would be able to tell mine apart from the original screen used props... period!
4. I know what the 10th and 11th sonics look like inside and out. I was given all 4 hero 11th sonics and the 10th to examine.
6. Mission accomplished but I wasn't happy enough. I came up with the idea and asked Nick (prop maker who worked on the show for 6 years I believe... correct me if Im wrong on that Nick) if he would build clean versions of all the sonics from the show that QMx would want to release. He said yes. I then told Andy why I thought it would be a good idea. I told him that my CADs were perfect but had all different dimensions from all the differences between the 4 11th sonics etc. I told him that if Nick made the clean versions (try and make the sonics without all the "deadline rush" machining out of it, I would then be able to pic the parts in my CAD to match what Nick made and that would satisfy my OCD as to which of the parts of the 4 11th sonics I would use. Hopefully everyone is still following me and should give everyone an idea of how much "attention to detail" means to me. Andy thought that was a great idea and made it happen. Nick's sonics would also be used to promote the QMx sonics as true and accurate... basically we could show pics of Nick's sonics up against mine. When everyone sees no differences, everyone would be happy and put a lot of questions and concersn to rest.
8. I was in communication with Nick about various details as well as trying to find large material sources... like the material used for the crackle effect for the 10th sonic.
9. During my communication with Nick, he asked me to machine up the complex parts of the 10th. Yes.... some of those parts can not be machined up properly without the use of cnc. I had asked Nick if he had kept any of his drawings or dimensions on the 10th. He had said that the original screen used 10th sonic was machined up by a company called Aztec. This was the first time I ever heard this name. That's why I machined up the complex parts of the 10th sonic... my CAD was dead on to the screen used one and everone who would purchased one would be happy knowing that. So, I machined up 2 sets and shipped them off to Nick at the last minute so he could assemble and paint it for Comic Con. Sorry Nick that it was last minute.... . So, the 10th sonic, was a joint team effort between Nick and I to give you guys the best and the dead on accurate details everyone wants. You asked for it... you got it.
10. When I was on set, the studio was extremely professional and extremely protective of these sonics. Being an industry professional, I was able to gain enough trust with them to allow me to do what I needed to do to get the details off these sonics for all of you. And for that, I truly send a heart warm "thank you" to all those involved... from the prop master on up. This level of detail could not have been accomplished without your trust.
11. So, when I build these sonics for QMx... they will be made with my CAD I did of every part of the screen used 10th and 11th sonics. As for the other sonics (not the 10th and 11th), I will be reverse engineering Nick's work (Nick does not use CNC and does not have CAD models). He uses manual equipment and this would not be good when you have to machine several hundred or even thousands of parts for a run of sonics. I will be leaving all of Nick's details intact. Example: I made the Tesla guns for season 3 of Warehouse 13. The Tesla's frame needed to look as if it was hand cut with a hacksaw. Well, for the run of QMx Tesla guns, I left those hacksaw tooling marks in the parts when I programmed the laser to cut them out. That's the level of detail you'll be getting.
12. This is Important. I have seen some of the sonics out there and I have not come across one with all the details as the screen used ones I saw on set. I will not direct or point the finger at anyone specific.... I just don't want to get involved with those fights.... lol. What I want to say is that I have seen people try and replicate my work and state they had access to the prop and its 100 percent dead on. Yet, with all those incidents, none of them had access and none of them were dead on accurate. So... why would they say this? To make the sale. Plain and simple. In the end.... I ask everyone to STOP.... TAKE A DEEP BREATH.... AND RELAX. We're all brothers on this tiny ball floating around in space. lol Just know this... I took every step to give you the most accurate props. I mean.... Nick is now involved with all this. Everything else doesn't matter, everything else that anyone made up until this point has nothing to do with the QMx sonics except what's in this post and the sonics will be exact and that is something I stand behind saying.
OK then.... man I'm tired now. LOL Hopefully this answers a lot of questions for you guys and puts a lot of it to rest. For those of you who are Dr. Who fans and will be purchasing one of these sonics.... you will be getting the most accurate collectable built exactly like the heros. You can't even call them replicas.... you're getting hero made props... the same ones on screen. You won't tell the difference.
Kenney "
This was an introduction full of thinly disguised swagger, promising the impossible backed up with an arrogant attitude that would clearly be absent were it not for the backup of QMx. Like an obnoxious oik who will only pick a fight when he has his friends around him. Let's cherry pick some of his puffery shall we?:
"If I built a sonic right now.... no one would be able to tell mine apart from the original screen used props... period!"
Bullshit. I could tell as could a myriad others. Very easily. Don't make stupid and impossible claims you cannot possibly delivery on...period!
"we could show pics of Nick's sonics up against mine. When everyone sees no differences, everyone would be happy and put a lot of questions and concersn to rest."
"the sonics will be exact and that is something I stand behind saying."
"I took every step to give you the most accurate props"
Again, unless you are damn sure of your skill, don't make these claims because the moment anyone can see differences, someone will look like a tit. Right?
Ok, so I read the rest of what he has to say, do my makes on this guy and find out he's the guy making the Tesla guns for QMx as well as other bits and pieces. This makes me raise an eyebrow. So this is the guy making a piece-of-piss static gun prop with a few vacuum tubes and brass piping, selling it for $1200 and is still barely turning a profit?! Things are looking up. I could bang those things out for less than $300 retail all day every day! The odds of QMx ever turning these things out has just lengthened considerably in my book.
However something then made my blood boil. This:
"I have seen some of the sonics out there and I have not come across one with all the details as the screen used ones I saw on set. I will not direct or point the finger at anyone specific.... I just don't want to get involved with those fights.... lol. What I want to say is that I have seen people try and replicate my work and state they had access to the prop and its 100 percent dead on. Yet, with all those incidents, none of them had access and none of them were dead on accurate. So... why would they say this? To make the sale. Plain and simple. In the end.... I ask everyone to STOP.... TAKE A DEEP BREATH.... AND RELAX. We're all brothers on this tiny ball floating around in space. lol "
With that single paragraph this guy turns from being a mildly irritating oik to a full blown cunt. I am fully aware of every single detail on those sonics, probably more so than even you are aware of, you dumb fucking hack. Howver, I am am not going to sit down and engineer in every fucking scratch, dent, hamfisted reshape of the head, just because it exists on a rather battered prop that you measured after it has been retired. Sure, I am aware of the front v shape profile of the ridges (because they were reshaped during the season 2 refurb because the head was pretty battered with dents and scratches that needed to be polished out of it which reduced the outer circumference so the ridges needed 'lifting'), always have been. I am aware of the various screws holding each component together and the angles involved. However, conscious choices were made to keep certain things in and leave certain things out for aesthetic and common sense reasons. I examined the same props and actually got in there way before he did. For him to accuse me of lying to make the sale? What a total cunt. In part 1 of Trash Talk I laid down a challenge to him. I described in fine detail the location, size and shape of scratches, dents and other features that I could not possibly know unless I have examined and photographed the props. If I am talking shit, call me out on it, I dare you, muthafucker. His is adopting this pathetic passive aggressive 'I don't want to pick a fight' stance but by insulting my integrity he already has and in that regard I will remember this and when he fucks up, which he already has, I shall be waiting to publically rub his face in it.
But it gets worse.....in another post he goes on to state:
"when you get something from China... it's not going to be the level of detail, heart, and sweat as what you get when it's made by one of us from the industry"
That is the biggest pile of crock I have every heard. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? You don't want to pick a fight?! Great job, you cocksucking little faggot. I have you know I put blood, sweat and guts into all my replica. Over the past three years I have bent over backwards to bring the finest sonics to market. They are handbuilt with an attention to detail that will make a talentless fuck like you, wince. My mark 2 Tennant sonic is already being readied for the next run, and it has dimensions taken for the same prop you examined so it will be as perfect as I can make it. However, if by some miracle, QMx does get their's out, I have a good mind to saturate the entire market with $150 cnc'ed, with sound, versions of yours just to fuck you up and I will feel great doing it and I won't even care that I will not be making any money as the satisfaction of seeing your fat faces when you shit yourself when you realise you will be sitting on several hundred $2000 sonics that you can't shift is more than payment enough. QMx could well follow MFX into oblivion.
So Kenney's made some bold claims. He's given it the double XXL. But one thing nags at me that betrays the fact that he's nowhere near as good as he thinks he is.
If he has taken laser scans of the sonics (I find this weird as you cannot really cannot take laser scans of reflective metal surfaces without coating them in talc first, and I don't see the Beeb allowing that, do you?), detailed measurements and photos....
WHY THE FUCK DOES HE NEED ROBATTO'S REFERENCE PIECES??????
His reasoning does not gel. Each one of the 11th sonics is unique and the most unique parts are the copper and aluminium strips that make up the upper and lower cage sections. Each one is hand fitted and trimmed, taped and then riveted. They then need to be adjusted. None of them are 1:1 interchangeable with another. It would be a simple case of averaging all the necessary dims to give a tidy prop with interchangeable parts. Even simpler, choose the best looking prop and copy that! What a fucking numbnut....
I never took laser scans, but I have enough data here to produce a perfectly tidy, symmetrical 1:1 replica which is what I am working on right now.
I suspect Kenney fucked up. I don't think he took scans or his scans ended up inaccurate for various reasons and he is having trouble getting the cages to fit. Am I right? I know I am. The way the prop is, you cannot just straightforward copy it. The hand coaxing and trimming and notching means that what is measured is not what came fresh off Robatto's mill.
So what about the 10th? He claims he wants to make a perfect 1:1 replica indistiguishable from the prop. I don't think he quite succeeded with this:
It's a lovely prop and is actually a lot better and more accurate than my current version. There are many things perfect with it including the black bulb shape and the body, However there are also several things seriously flawed with it. I am not going to point out what these are as quite honestly, why should I do their job for them, but there are two major issues with the head and Robatto fucked up with the paint (he did tweet about it about 10 days ago) which meant the crackle was too small. Fine for the Eccleston Aztec sonic, not so fine for the Tennant sonic. I know precisely what he did, and that was he laid on too thick an undercoat and too thin a top coat. Nice to see the flush, filled in activation strip but technically that was never on this sonic and was only ever on the Eccleston ones.
So much for the boasts then....it is what it is: a nice, tidied hybrid sonic but hardly one that you cannot tell apart from the prop and certainly not the perfection he promised. Some of this has already been pointed out to Kenney who swears blind that it is identical when compared to his reference pics. Sorry, but I've already done comparisions using my own pics and there are issues. Feel free to post them though, should be interesting to see. I notice that Kenney hasn't machined in the wonky bevels and the assymmetry. I really does hope he posts these pics as then my proof can be checked against the scratches and dents in the prop. You will also all see how shit the prop actually is and that a perfect recreation would be madness.
So what do I think will happen with these sonics? I maintain that they will never see the light of day.
The R&D can take up to a year per sonic, especially if you have a busy schedule like I have and by the sounds of it, Kenney Palkow has too. He only makes for QMx in his spare time between movies. He's also working on QMx's other stuff.
The Matt Smith sonic is completely at odds with mass manufacture, even CNC, as each one needs hand assembly, fitting and substantial internal redesign. I already have that sussed. It contain nearly 50 parts, all scratch made. Using the infinitely simpler Tesla gun they charged $1200 which was cheaper than the final costings dictated. If this thing ever does come to market, which I doubt, you are looking at nearly $2000.
The 10th sonic, which according to Kenney is harder to machine (trust me, it isn't), needs to be hand painted which takes a lot of man hours (trust me, I have dicked around with this stuff probably more than any man on earth. What I do not know about crackle paint can be written on the back of a hobbit's posing pouch)
The message they give is utterly contradictory. On one hand they say they want to produce replicas indistinguishable from the props. Yet they show sanitised and idealised prototypes which are totally different from the props they are supposed to ape. You can't have it both ways. Pick one route and stick to it with conviction. if you want to produce screen accurate replicas, you must do it, warts too.
In any sensible person's view, QMx have a flawed business model that relies too much on cheap shite or very expensive stuff they farm out to people who end up stiffing them on price because they can. How about producing good stuff at a fair price? If you can't then I will and I'll still be standing at the end of days becuase I'm a tough passionate bastard and tough passionate bastards survive. Believe it.
