Episode 2 - The Toystore Awakens

Hello everybody!

2025 is now well underway and has already been a shock to all of our systems - Donald Trump became president again, China schooled the US on how to make an AI, Doctor Who has been cancelled for at least the rest of the decade... and now, most importantly of all, the Celestial Toystore is back. Sort of.  This undoubtedly restores order to a market that has been too long without somebody striving for excellence, too long without somebody that is willing to put in the hours to make the finest, most accurate prop replicas ever seen... all without driving the price up to a grand per screwdriver and whilst still creating products that are robust, sought-after, and withstand the test of time.

Yes, the Celestial Toystore may have come back with a few changes, but in the words of the nepotistic offspring of the famous Hollywood film director, Robert Downey Senior, "new mask, same task".

So what exactly is up with this new mask? We're sure you're all desperate to know.

Discussions about getting the Celestial Toystore started again began roughly two years ago. At this point CT was very much out of the Doctor Who replica business, working in the Hollywood film industry and generally enjoying life, building his supercar and watch collection and travelling the world being a nuisance to Michelin starred chefs and Rolex authorised dealers. Whilst he still had some of his legendary Matt Smith sonic screwdrivers in stock, these orders were fulfilled mainly by the long suffering former CT2 and occassionally CT himself when he had the time. This all changed when over a discussion of bent prop masters and fickle art directors, CT sighed, sipped a Pepsi Max and casually called onto his laptop screen the sheer amount of reference he had on original movie props and in particular. sonic screwdriver props. This was stuff well beyond anything he'd discussed before and included, but was not limited to, the original props themselve that were carefully archived in CT'S office, scans of the props, a library of reference images never publicly seen, micron-accurate measurements taken with calipers, non-shrink ultracal castings, and original documentation from the prop makers on the show, going right back to 2003. Or in the case, of the Classic sonic, some DIABOLICAL reference stretching as far back as the 1960s. This hoard is something that other replica makers can only dream of glimpsing, and can never be faked no matter how many screen grabs one measures nor how much research one does.

Needless to say, CT didn't notice that my jaw had just dropped to the floor.

Fast forward to last autumn. CT's health had taken a turn for the worse and I had regularly kicked around the idea of re-starting the Toystore in some form but it was always a bit of a non-starter. He was too busy, and I was too busy and we needed more than one man to do it. That's the way life goes. But then CT pitched me an idea of using his contacts in the film industry. CT would bring together a new team to purchase the site from him. This group of highly experienced industry-leading prop makers would all lend a hand in the construction of the new CT products, using their combined network of industry contacts and I could focus on other aspects of the business. CT would help get things going and then take a backseat and enjoy his well earnt retirement. Consider it a wheel and spoke model - the Celestial Toystore is the centre of the wheel, but now we have enough spokes that the wheel can turn like it needs to.

But what does this mean for YOU, our dear consumers?

The simple answer is... nothing. As far as you are concerned nothing will change. Once again the Celestial Toystore will be producing the most desirable replicas money can buy, and it doesn't matter one jot to you how our replicas get there. The fact that each one will now be passing through six pairs of award-winning prop maker hands, rather than just one, will have no tangible impact on our products. This is still the Celestial Toystore.

How involved will the original CT be, you ask?

We understand the concern. Whilst we're excited to re-open our little shop, it's CT himself that makes us different to a normal group of makers who set up some machines in their garage and get building. CT was trained as an engineer, and for the early part of his career he was an intrepid explorer, forging those links and gathering that reference that made his props unique. Most of all, it was his infuriating drive for perfection that truly elevated the screwdriver game and created the market that we currently have.

Well the answer there is, again, good. Whilst the original CT has retired from active duties with the store, he is still very much present behind the scenes, and in fact we share a desk. Every time he tries to eat one of my chocolate buttons I hit him with my fly swat and he cries. Rest assured that the Celestial Toystore is still using the original CT archives, backed by the original factories and workshops as the original CT runs, and still retains the original CT himself to provide his eye and expertise. Think of him like Pei Mei in Kill Bill - helping, instructing, and often very angry.

So all that said, what have you, lucky consumers, got to look forward to this year?

The first release under the new banner will be the incredibly exciting REFERENCE EDITION 10th Doctor Sonic Screwdriver. This will be a no-punches-pulled museum quality recreation of the original 'B' prop used up until the 11th Hour, warts included. CT's original UE is still a perfect replica, but it is also idealized as a hybrid of the two filming props, details harmonised to balance it out and strengthen it for the general consumer. The Reference Edition is our response to a changing market and increasing competition from other makers who, in all fairness, have released some decent efforts. This, however, will be the final line in accuracy - a full internal and external carbon copy of the prop as it was when CT first got his hands on it back in 2011.

The second release will be the long-awaited CLASSIC SERIES SONIC SCREWDRIVER. This was a project long-fabled during the original CT tenure, but it never entered production. Though makers today would have you think that all reference of the original prop was lost and one must now peer through foggy lenses at blurry screen grabs to recreate the details, this is absolutely not the case. Nearly twenty years ago CT began collecting reference for his replica from places other makers have hitherto not come within leagues of, including, but not limited to, original material from the workshop of Tony Dunsterville, the man who made the original prop back in the 1960s and famously told other researchers to bugger off when they approached him. Luckily, before his death one of the new CT team, someone who had known and worked with Mr Dunsterville back in the early 80s, managed to spend some time with him and managed to question him on his work, including the Thunderbirds gig. This was transcribed and formed the basis of the research CT collected on the Classic sonic. Research that is only now being put to use. 

So sit back, relax, and start dreaming about what is coming. The Reference Edition is already available for pre-order and construction shall begin soon - we can't wait to show you what we've got cooking.

In the meantime, if you would like to reach out to The Celestial Toystore, please use thecelestialtoymaker2@gmail.com as your first port of call. It may be that we redirect some enquiries to the original CT, but day-to-day communication will now be handled by this email address.

Thank you, and here's to an exciting new year...

It's the end....but the moment has been prepared for

Well hello....it's been a while hasn't it? By my reckoning it's been over a decade since I last posted here. Hasn't time flown? The last time I interacted with some of you, your balls hadn't dropped and you were still living at home with mum and dad. In fact, some of you probably still are but snarky digs aside, you've proven me wrong and reached adulthood and in doing so I do hope that many of you have achieved some success and happiness in life.

The reason I'm here is really rather bittersweet and in many ways I wanted to just fade away into obscurity, without fanfare or fuss. The world has changed and it is a rather different, harsher and more unpleasant place than it was when I first embarked upon this little caper all those years ago. The increasing toxicity and mindless cuntery of a number of 'fans' has soured this world for me. I've concentrated on my career in the film industry, which has proven to be very fulfilling financially and creatively, and I've gradually lost interest in the stupid politics of knowledge guardianship and juvenile one-upsmanship games that certain neurodivergent fisters in the fanboy community still continue to play. Together with the way that Doctor Who has developed post Peter Capaldi where diversity hires such as Jodie Fucking Whitaker and Ncuti Touch Grass Gatwa have sucked out the very essence of the show I have loved for the last half century, I've decided to walk away. It was an easy decision that I've taken for both mental and physical health reasons.

My original plan was to retire once all remaining stock of my 11th doctor sonics were sold and close the online store permanently. However, late last year I was approached by a group of colleagues in the film industry with a view to continuing The Celestial Toystore under new stewardship. We thrashed out a deal and I've signed over The Celestial Toystore to the next generation of maverick replica propmakers. Trust me when I say that the Toystore will be in very good hands. We have Emmy awards winners, Bafta and Oscar nominees and veterans that have lineage to both the classic and revival series of Doctor Who. Combined with access to my extensive private archive of original props, costumes and reference material I believe the Continuation Celestial Toystore has a potent future. The first release under the new guard will be a museum quality Reference Edition of the 10th Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver that has direct lineage to the original through the machinists hired by Aztec to build the original prop and its refitted versions. Following this, there will be a release of the Fourth Doctor's classic sonic that uses private reference and an interview with the late Tony Dunsterville, the original maker of the prop and a personal friend of one the new CT team. The result will be nothing short of spectacular and will mark the first time a truly accurate recreation of this legendary prop has ever been made available to the fans. 

So that's that. I hand you over to CT2. Thank all of you for your support over the last 16 or 17 years. It has been a pleasure and at times a fucking pain in the arse. I shall still be around during the transition period over the next few months but I will become less and less involved as I slowly slide into my well earnt retirement. 

In the immortal final words of the fourth Doctor: "It's the end....but the moment has been prepared for"

Adios amigos!

Hustling and how not to fuck it up

As some of you know all too well, I have the distinct luxury of being able to pick and choose my who I do and who I don't do business with. There is a certain liberating comfort knowing that my products usually end up in the hands of those that appreciate them and not in the hands of utter wankers. To this end I operate a list of persons that for various good reasons, I wouldn't even piss on if they were on fire let alone take their money for one of my products. One such raging douchebag is a reprehensible little shit called Daniel Simmonds. A little back story if I may, to fill in why this prick ended up on my shit list. A few years ago, this individual ordered several items from me but I was then contacted on several occasions by his mother Adrienne explaining how this spoilt and over-entitled brat had hacked her Paypal and email and using her stolen details, made these purchases. Obviously, being the type of chap I am, I cancelled these orders yet this nasty, thieving shit refused to take no for an answer and continued to try and obtain these items despite being rumbled and even on one occasion, impersonating his mother using her hacked email address and stealing her credit card to set up a duplicate Paypal account. If there's one thing that winds me up it's badly behaved fuckers who steal from their parents thinking it's their god given right to have nice stuff.  (If anyone can be bothered I have the original emails detailing all of this so if he denies it, I'll just go public with those too, I don't give two fucks).

Fast forward 4 years and it would appear that not only has Simmonds grown up, he's graduated into conning other Doctor Who fans. Let me give you a quick run down of his current shenanigans.

He recently posted the following ad on a Facebook Doctor Who group:

One of my extensive network of trusted friends that keep an eye on these things for me thought the whole thing smelt 'wrong'. For a start, Simmonds isn't what you call bright. He has this sociopathic tendency towards economy with the truth and spins a rather fantastical yarn in order to try and con the maximum cash from said lies. Case in point is with the 11th Doctor sonic here:

The picture he then posts my chap are of a slightly different sonic to the one he advertised on the board. The latest pics shows a grip that has a larger screw hole in the white handle like the latest production Rubbertoe sonics and now apparently it has parts from a screen used sonic on it! (In case that was lost on some of you, I'm currently rolling my eyes and I have developed an itchy rash on my chin). Now, for a start I happen to know that the parts in question have not been swapped out and are still on the original S5 sonics. Even if they weren't he'd need the collusion of Nick Robatto and Nick is not that stupid. Simmonds has replicated said features from knowledge that is already in the public domain and he's using this to fraudulently bump up the price. Which is kind of funny as the other guy 'Dominic' that Simmonds refers to is also one of my friends and he was never told about the screen used Frankensonic nature of this sonic and indeed, Simmonds quoted him a lower price. Go figure.

But it gets worse...in a separate conversation with 'Dominic' to buy the pictured Ultimate Edition 10th sonic a whole new web of deceit has been spun. Consider the following:

Not only has he now concocted a story about how Nick Robatto has repainted one of my Ultimate Edition 10th Doctor sonics, he's now turned it into one of his 'prototypes' and Simmonds wants £1250 more than it originally cost! Now I'm not going to accuse Nick of any wrongdoing here. Far from it, I don't think Nick would go anywhere near one of my sonics for obvious reasons let alone collude with a lying psychopathic cunt like Simmonds. Simmonds is using Nick's name as a convincer to basically add value to a sonic he's tinkered with himself and if I was Nick, I'd be fucking furious. 

So what is the lesson here? Basically, don't try and hustle in a market place where I have eyes and ears everywhere. There is a lot of loyalty and a lot of love for me in this hobby but I like to keep it on the down low as it serves my needs. If you try and pull a fast one, the chances are I will know about it within minutes and I will make you look stupid. If you are still hell bent on going for the con, do it in intelligently and with style. Simmond's attempt at being a Jewish Frank Abagnale just makes him look like an inept bunglecunt. For the rest of you readers...if you are looking to buy anything from this piece of shit, take everything with a healthy pinch of kosher salt. 

A new beginning.......

As another year fades into history and before the new one begins in earnest, let me wish all my readers, customers and followers the very best for the coming year. I know, it's a bit late but I've been a bit busy here in China setting up some amazing things for you all this coming year so bear with me.

2013 was an eventful one marked by quite profound change both on a global scale and on a personal one for me since it's really been the first year I've thoroughly enjoyed myself doing what I do best and finally garnering some small degree of acceptance that has allowed me to settle within a comfortable niche within this field. 

2013 was the year many talented makers have fallen by the wayside, victims of the insidious march of 3D printing, recasting and disillusionment whilst others have sprung up in their place.

The industry itself has changed, fuelled again by the increasing use of 3D printing and the cartel like grip some makers have on the cool shit we see onscreen but change is good as it fuels some really ingenious new techniques and use of materials. I've certainly learnt my fair share and hopefully, when some of my stuff hits the big screen in the summer, we'll see how successful me and my team of CTs have been.

The past year saw me finally finish my 11th doctor sonic build. Just in time for the 11th Doctor to mercifully leave our screens and a new one in the form of Paul Smith model extraordinaire, Peter 'I'll fucking stab ye' Capaldi. Oh well, can't rush perfection. It took 3 years but I finally got there.

2013 was also the year that the hobby of props has seen a real sea change, both for good and for bad. The RPF, that old go-to, has contracted the online equivalent of AIDS and is about to go full-blown. The days where the hobby was driven by the pro's helping out a few skilled amateurs to recreate the icons they saw on screen was finally are well and truly consigned to history. Instead, the hobby has been replaced with an almighty clusterfuck which is all the doing of a single clueless inbred imbecile called Art Andrews. His vanity, boundless stupidity and complete failure to grasp the fundamentals of human interaction has led him on an ill conceived quest to own the hobby. He wants to package the hobby, the content and the members, skull fuck them into brain dead submission using fear and fake beneficence then use that as a commodity on which to sell advertising. 

However, the game is up. He has been rumbled, his stranglehold is broken and despite trying to silence the dissenters through bans, social media ignore buttons and good old fashioned fingers in the ears, his little empire is crumbling. The spate of bannings in the past week will mark the moment the castle walls cracked. High profile, respected members of the prop world and of the wider fandom have been summarily banned just because they associated with people outside The RPF than Art deems a danger to him. These are people, like myself, you just don't make enemies of. The disgust that these bannings have had have reverberated throughout the community. People are renouncing their RPF memberships, getting themselves banned and just leaving the place in support of those banned. This exodus is terminal and palpable. One look at the RPF compared to even 5 years ago will show a huge decline in quality of posting, sharing, camaraderie and overall activity. Those that made the original RPF what it was have long gone and instead Artis oversees a shitpit of kids, scammers and general fucktards. In fact, the natural habitat of cunts like Risu. 

Art's enemies are circling, they have rallied against him and they have put aside their enmities to unite to save this hobby of our's against a greedy psychopathic tyrant who wants to own it.

To this end, I'm going to be doing something a little different this year with this blog. Instead of it being exclusively my own rantings and mad raving, I'll be offering this blog to you guys as a venting outlet and will be featuring guest bloggers throughout the year to talk about not just Who props, but props, fandom and life in general. You'll have a treat as there are some great writers lined up, some which you'll know already and some you'll get to know.

So as 2014 finally gets underway let's pause and reflect on what has gone, the propmakers who are with us, and some not with us, and some looking down on us, and look forward to the changes that will come. Some people will look forward to these more than others but this year will undoubtedly be memorable. Happy 2014 everyone.

What is this? Your farewell speech?

I notice that our chum Artis is a fan of Glengarry Glen Ross. He's used a totally inappropriate quote from that film in a pussy attempt to make himself look good. The hilarious thing is that he is not a 'greater power' nor did we fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite. He posted the fucking proof on his own Facebook wall! Using that to dump on him made me feel like I'd slept for twelve hours.

If he wants to trade quotes, here's a few from the film that I found much more apposite:

"That guy's a fuckin' asshole. Anybody who talks to that asshole is a fuckin' asshole."

"You've got a big mouth... now I'm gonna show you an even bigger one."

and last but not least:

"You stupid fucking cunt. You, Andrews, I'm talking to you, shithead....That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead."

All I want for Christmas is.....a hanky

There exists among us a different breed of person. This person is cold, calculating, immoral, manipulative, unhindered by guilt, empathy or common decency. They suffer from a condition that psychologists term 'Antisocial Personality Disorder'. We know them as psychopaths. 

These people create a web of deceit and psychological coercion in order to exert a control framework over the poor weak minded fools that they encounter. In the world of fandom, Art Andrews is such a creature. An unapologetic sociopathic nut job whose monumental ego and innate inadequacies as a human being has lead him on a campaign of entitlement where fandom is commoditised and controlled by him and his brainwashed cronies.

A couple of days ago, I publically dismantled this hypocritical fucker on this blog. Most people, especially one as universally despised as this douche,  would use this as a catalyst for some pretty hard self reflection and consider why so many people want to see him hit with a mortar round. Not Artis. Instead, he posts the following, rather oblique response on an OT topic on The RPF:

Once I had staunched the bleeding from my heart, I considered this rather limp dicked response and had to take another break for some surgery to have my sides sewn back up.

Let's look at this objectively. Here is a fuck face who just got publically shat on. He hasn't got the stones to take me on man to man so he resorts to bleeding heart, woe is me, let's be the better man bullshit. It's feeble, transparent and utterly ineffectual because a) I'm not the type to give a flying fuck and b) because I can smell his fear. For all the bravado, I've struck a nerve with this spineless little turd and he's bricking it.

On the little corner of the web where we congregate, his former friends, enemies and amused bystanders can finally see through the holier than thou spiel and we laugh at him. As my buddy Larry observed is his inimitably arch way,  "Right, because Christmas is traditionally the time of fellowship and good cheer, which is the natural environment for scum. What an inbred, damaged soul."

Couldn't have put it better myself. 

But moving on, it's easy to see what he's trying to do. He's playing to his self styled 'cult leader' image and giving the impression that he's serenely floating above the slings and arrows that his outrageous fortune has slung at him. 

To be fair, at least we're hitting the mark. If it were him firing the slings and arrows they'd probably end up in his own leg so maybe this passive strategy is probably for the best, from his point of view.

Seriously though, the response is as hollow as his nutsack. What a presumptious douche to assume he owns 'this community'. The community is larger than The RPF and sister sites. Fandom cannot be owned, it cannot be commoditised and it cannot be dictated to by an intellectually retarded little trailer park hick with a track record of self harm.

'Promoting peace' is not achieved by the hypocritical imposition of bannings, censorship and intimidation. It is achieved through honesty, intelligent discourse, reason and tolerance. Concepts that Artis' miniscule conglomeration of grey matter has difficulty grasping. 'The community' is not owned by any one person, it is owned wholly and unequivocably by the members. The RPF is not a community, it is a dictatorship and as history has shown, dictatorships seldom last. His 'rules', as Shawn McBee and countless others have shown, are as meaningless and fluid as the juice that sloshes around between Art's ears. Rules are only as effective as their application and it has been proven time and time again that Art does not and cannot apply his rules equitably or consistently. It is a measure of the bottom feeding pissant he is that whenever called on it, he puts his fingers in his ears and goes 'la la la'. This is the guy to whom loyalty is alien. This is the guy who banned Prop Den from The RPF despite all the help it gave him when The RPF got hacked. This is a guy who has driven from The RPF guys who hitherto considered him a friend. Tell me, do you want a cunt like that vetting everything you see and post? 

Some of you reading this will probably think I'm full of shit. Many more I hope, will agree with me. I hope I have done something to lift the curtain on Artis' shitty little operation. If you have an RPF membership, renounce it. Reclaim your mind from this bullying, manipulative fuck. Stand up for free speech and mature unfettered discussion, free from Art's thought police. There are plenty of alternative sites out there where you can discuss props, get the 'good stuff' and generally hang out with some of the coolest guys in the business. One such site is The MPPC run by Lee Malone and you can sign up here: The MPPC

The RPF is heading for a fall. The choice is simple. Art Andrews has grown too arrogant and too complacent and it is stifling this community. The prop community is YOUR'S. Not his. YOUR'S. Reclaim it and we can all benefit from the wealth of talent, creativity and friendship that has been stifled for too long.

Update: In the few hours this blog has been up it would appear that our buddy Artis has seen it and posting the following comments on his Facebook wall for his sycophantic wank buddies to comment on

:

Funny how he cropped out the statement professing his love of the schlong. It's also quite telling that he is pretending to act amused and unbothered by this when it is obvious to everyone, his skull fucked bum buddies included, that the opposite is true. He is HIGHLY bothered by this. So Art...what are you going to do? You going to BAN me? (Manic laughter) You going to sue me? (More manic laughter) You going to pray for my soul? (Ok, I'm out of manic laughter and I'm just going to sit here dribbling). I'm going to keep on prodding you until you finally break and shoot yourself again. I'm going to dismantle your little toy forum and I will ruin you personally and professionally. I'll let your church ruin you spiritually as quite honestly, they are doing a fucking great job already. 

The sad truth is that Artis has made a lot of enemies. Enemies he did not need to make. He will continue to 'ban' people who dissent. He will continue to make sad pathetic faces when he whines about how he is wronged by everyone, misunderstood by those who cannot see his higher purpose, profess to be a humble man of the masses. Sound familiar? Yeah.....and when the time comes, I hope that when they nail him to that cross it really fucking hurts.

Artis will to ignore/block/ban anyone who challenges his narrow little world view. But the World Wide Web is, thankfully, not controlled by Artis. It's controlled by the NSA. And they're not about to ban me anytime soon, so happy days. I'll leave you with this. A few days ago Art posted this bleeding heart whine:

"I received a number of PM's yesterday from people saying they wanted to join in the conversation but were afraid to post their remarks publicly. This really makes me sad. We live in a world that claims we are all equal and there should be tolerance for everyone's views... but clearly that is not the case. If you are one of those who doesn't feel you can speak your mind, I would be interested in hearing why not? Do you fear reprisal and being ostracized? Do you not think others would be accepting and tolerant of your beliefs? For those who DO feel comfortable responding to hot topics, like yesterday's debate which included Biblical beliefs and discussions regarding homosexuality, why aren't you afraid? Do you just not care what others think? Are you not worried about reprisal? I am very interested to know what separates those who feel they can't speak their mind from those who feel they can."

Remember Shawn McBee wrote a rather cutting and well reasoned response? He got blocked by Art. 

Well, Marc De Hoogh also got blocked by Art for posting this:

So much for my baseless accusations. That cunt proves me right each and every time. He will continue to bury his head in the sand whilst those with half a braincell to their name will run for the hills. This banjo plucking bumpkin is finished. Be part of the joke or you can laugh at the joke because either way, there is going to be a lot more laughs to come.

The Art of Hypocrisy

There was a time, not so long ago, when a little known British comedian called Ricky Gervais was actually quite funny. His acutely observed and brilliantly executed comedic inventions that poked fun at the type of hapless, ignorant and generally rather unpleasant sorts you would encounter in the real world has made him quite the master of this type of comedy. David Brent from 'The Office' is his masterpiece. He is an irritating fuck: vain, pretentious, intellectually limited and utterly oblivious to his own limitations and the contempt that he engenders in those around him.

Speaking of irritating fucks, allow me to re-introduce you to one of the most irritating fucks you will ever have the misfortune to encounter, Mr Art Andrews (his friends call him 'Cunt').  This douchebag is possibly the dumbest fucking cunt ever to walk the face of this planet. This self styled overlord of multi genre fandom has single-handedly managed to royally fuck up and fragment a hitherto rather united and friendly bunch of like minded fans and collectors and replaced it with a bunch of kids running around in foam costumes.

His main claim to fame is The RPF, a cesspool of fucktards, moderated by cunts and controlled by King Cunt himself. Having alienated the real pro's, the big collectors and the knowledgeable movers and shakers within the prop world what we have left are idiot children playing hooky from remedial school, third string cosplayers in Made-In-China Ebay costumes, sycophants and Adam Savage. Hardly the winning recipe for a credible business is it? Anyone who could have added credibility to the forum has long departed: either the victim of one of Artis' arbitrary bannings or have fucked off on their own accord to sunnier climes in disgust over Artis' rather psychotic moderation policies.

To give you an example rather close to home, I present you with the following:

For the past 5 years I have been banned from The RPF. I am not allowed to be mentioned, alluded to, hinted at by name, reputation or even have pictures of my products without attribution posted. Hell, even a pic that contains one of my products in the background is reason enough for a ban. Even the letters 'C' and 'T' are not allowed to be used (ok, I was joking about the last part but it's not outside the realms of possibility; stranger things have happened)

You wonder what he's afraid of? I admit, I'm a pretty scary dude but on a good day I'm actually quite mercurial and reasonably pleasant. The lunacy of the situation is bordering on the surreal. Consider this if you will: you have a forum that is called the Replica Prop Forum. But you're not allowed to talk about the producer of some of the best props around. How does that work? Beats the fuck out of me. The irony is that I have made hero props for some of the biggest films in the past two years yet they are allowed to be freely discussed. However, if Art were to ban these threads, there will be nothing left to discuss. These spineless chickenshits need to grow a pair as the only message they are sending out is that they are crapping their pants if I so much as even breathe in their general direction. Personally, I don't care if they villify me. I'm a big boy and it will take more than a bunch of brainwashed dickcheeses to bother me, but when they start victimising and harassing my friends and customers, I get pissed.

Art Andrews has become everyone's problem in the prop world. He's a cancer that is eating away at the bedrock of fandom. Whenever a power hungry simpleton like Art achieves even a modicum of success, he starts to think he's Jesus and that is when free speech, free expression and freedom of thought become a page note in his book of masturbation. Personally, I would not trust Art to organise a gang rape on an Indian bus. His ineptitude is the stuff of legend. This is the fucking moron who shot himself in the leg with his own gun whilst cleaning it. This is the fucktard who, along with that boned headed goon Gino, dumped 10 kilos of silicone over a priceless screen used Fett helmet. This psychopathic knobgobbler surrounds himself with professional retards because it's the only way he can muster the collective braincells to work a computer. He even married a dozy heifer who walked onto a plane with a loaded gun, post 9/11.  He is a joke. A laughing stock. No one takes him seriously and those that do were probably lobotomized at a young age. His name is a byword for shoddy gun handling, bad personal hygiene and ridiculous clit tickler facial fungus. Look at him and tell me that God doesn't write funnier gags than Bill Hicks?

Proof, if proof were needed, of the hypocrisy and complete lack of self awareness that this cuntflap exhibits can be found on his own Facebook wall where he recently posted this gem, this beauty, this gold nugget of comedic genius:

"I received a number of PM's yesterday from people saying they wanted to join in the conversation but were afraid to post their remarks publicly. This really makes me sad. We live in a world that claims we are all equal and there should be tolerance for everyone's views... but clearly that is not the case. If you are one of those who doesn't feel you can speak your mind, I would be interested in hearing why not? Do you fear reprisal and being ostracized? Do you not think others would be accepting and tolerant of your beliefs? For those who DO feel comfortable responding to hot topics, like yesterday's debate which included Biblical beliefs and discussions regarding homosexuality, why aren't you afraid? Do you just not care what others think? Are you not worried about reprisal? I am very interested to know what separates those who feel they can't speak their mind from those who feel they can."

My initial reaction went from disbelief, to shock, to sidesplitting laughter. The complete obliviousness to the hypocrisy this cunt displays defies explanation. This was something that even David Brent would find hard to do. In case some of you don't get it, let me put it in simple terms. This is the turd who has systematically suppressed free speech through censorship, fear and intimidation on his own forums. He has banned people for even talking to someone who he feels threatened by. His bannings are arbitrary, his intellectual functioning is non existent and his testicular matter is minimal. If you aspire to be a cult leader, that puts you at an immediate disadvantage. How can he expect to gain, let alone keep, the respect of his devotees when he is patently an incompetent imbecile?

One of my customers and Twitter followers posted the following in response on Artis' Facebook page:

Little I can add to this except "Bravo". Now Artis has painted himself into little corner. He can ignore it and keep the comment up there, in which case his hypocrisy is there for all to see. He could remove it. Which would prove that he is the virulent little pustule we all know he is. Either way, he loses. NEWSFLASH: Since speaking his mind, Artis has BLOCKED Shawn on Facebook. Proof again, that this brainless little cockknuckle has all the intelligence of a skidmark and answered his own question. The lesson today comes from the Gospel of St CT: Never ask a question if you don't like the answer. What a stroke.....

Speaking of censorship, he recently had a pop at Facebook for censoring and banning his band of retards for posting objectionable pics.

Whoah, hang on there. You mean Artis just got a taste of his own medicine? It's ok for him to ban people for NOTHING yet Facebook are jackasses for doing the same unto him? Well...karma's a bitch right Art?

As of today, I urge every one of you who still remains a member of the RPF to reclaim your mind, reclaim your self respect and reclaim your right to think for yourself instead of wallowing in the scummy mire of Art Andrews' hypocrisy. Get out of the cesspool, and tell Art he does not control who you associate with, who you buy from and whose party line you have to tow. Tell him to fuck off, tell him that you refuse to associate yourselves with a business where fear, intimidation and brainwashing are used to control you into being a commodity that pads out the bottom line of a fucktard who cannot even strip a gun without shooting himself.

The RPF is a sinking ship. It's not longer a resource to be valued, rather a place to point at the brainless peasants and laugh. I urge you all to boycott this clusterfuck of a forum and let the dogs suck the marrow out of it. Art deserves nothing less than to be King of a crumbling castle. You can either watch from the sidelines smugly or you can forever be part of the legacy of woe that Art will leave. Choose wisely my friends.